A Snippet of Life with 4 Kids: The Morning Addition

I'm going to admit that I have a problem.

It's called: "Morning"

More particularly, "School Day Morning(s) (with 4 children)".

Each morning, beginning on Monday, I blow a gasket.

A typical school day morning in my house goes EXACTLY like this:

*Alarm goes off at 6:15am*

*Husband shuts off alarm and rolls over before I hear it*

I shudder awake around 7am knowing we are all now a half hour behind schedule.

I grab my robe and scramble down the hall to wake Kayleigh yelling and shaking her:

"GET UP! WE OVERSLEPT! GET IN THE SHOWER. NOW!!!! You have FIVE minutes. And make sure you get ALL the shampoo out of your hair, or you'll look like a GREASE BALL!"

I run into Alekzander and Logan's room. I stand in the middle and yell: "LOGAN, ALEKZ, GET OUT OF BED! YOU HAVE A HALF HOUR TO GET DRESSED, BRUSH YOUR TEETH, EAT, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, AND GET OUT THE DOOR!" MOVE IT! NOW! NOW! NOW!

I bypass William's room because I know he's awake from all of the yelling and will be down shortly.

I get downstairs, make my cup of coffee, and switch on the 15 minutes of Good Morning America I allow myself to enjoy each day. During this 15 minutes, the children are fighting over who gets what cereal, the frozen waffles burning in the toaster, you had too many sausages! I had that bowl first!

WILLIAM! WHY ARE YOU EATING BREAKFAST NAKED?

My cup of coffee and 15 minutes is up. I now must make lunches and pack up backpacks.

More yelling ensues and it goes like this (all within 10-15 minutes):

ALEKZANDER, WHERE IS YOUR LUNCHBOX?

Alekzander: "I don't know...."

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW?"

Alekzander: "I thought it was in my backpack..."

IT'S NOT IN YOUR BACKPACK!!!!

Alekzander shrugs

YOU BETTER GO LOOK IN THAT DAMNED LOST AND FOUND WHEN YOU GET TO SCHOOL BECAUSE I AM NOT BUYING YOU A NEW LUNCH BOX!

Alekzander walks away.

LOGAN, GET YOUR SHOES AND COAT.

Logan: "*snarffle cry sniff whine" but I left my shoes right here and now they are gone!

LOGAN, IF YOU LEFT YOUR SHOES HERE, THEY'D STILL BE HERE.

Logan: "I think somebody stole them" *cry, cry, cry, whine, sniffle"

LOGAN, "YOUR OTHER SHOE IS BY THE TOILET.

Logan: "Oohh. I forgot".

KAYLEIGH, BRUSH YOUR HAIR.

KAYLEIGH, BRUSH YOUR HAIR.

KAYLEIGH, BRUSH YOUR HAIR.

KAYLEIGH, YOU CAN'T GO TO SCHOOL WITH ONE OF YOUR SOCKS ON AND ONE OF DAD'S SOCKS ON.

PLEASE PEOPLE! WE HAVE TO LEAVE.

Alekz, where is your backpack?

"I don't know".

GO FIND IT!

GET IN THE TRUCK.

WILLIAM, WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS?????

"I don't need pants. I have my shoes on."

GET IN THE TRUCK.

YOU AND YOU, GO TO THE LOST AND FOUND AND FIND YOUR LUNCH BOXES. I'M NOT BUYING YOU NEW ONES. YOU WILL HAVE PAPER BAGS THE REST OF THE YEAR!!!!

I kiss them goodbye.

Have a nice day!