This Thing Called "Parenting"

It's some pretty damned hard work. It's exhausting even. And yes, before you read on, we are trying to have a fifth child to spite the crap I am about to rant about. My children bring me more joy than all the annoyances and heartbreak they could ever bring me. I would have a dozen if we could afford it.

A lot of people see me frustrated, no doubt. It's hard work having four kids. I've got a whiteboard the size of Texas in my kitchen with our lives as a family of six written day by day, month by month of everything that is going on.

I think it's the fighting that gets to me the most. it starts as soon as they are getting the breakfast out of the cabinet in morning.

"HEY! I WAS IN LINE FOR THE CEREAL AND YOU CUT ME!"

"ALEKZANDER STOLE THE MILK FROM ME!" *child wonders off crying*

"YOU TOOK THE CEREAL I WANTED AND YOU ATE IT ALL ON PURPOSE!"

"MAAAAOOOMMM ALEKZ STEPPED ON MY FOOT"

"MAAAAOOOMMM KAYLEIGH WON'T STOP SINGING"

"MOM WHERE ARE MY PANTS?"

"DO I HAAAAAVE TO TAKE A SHOWER? I DON'T SMELL THAT BAD"

"MOM YOU FORGOT TO SIGN THIS"

"I CAN'T FIND MY SHOES"

"ALEKZANDER, DID YOU SLEEP IN YOUR UNIFORM?"

"YEAH, CAN I WEAR IT TODAY?"

...sure. I don't care.

6:30am people.

I drop them off at school and pick them up at 3:30pm where at least one child leaves school crying. Maybe the teacher said something they didn't like. Maybe they had a fight with a friend. Maybe they lost their lunchbox. Maybe someone stepped on their foot. Maybe they weren't able to tie their shoe all day. Some child is always crying.

Then they arrive at the truck and the fighting commences:

"I GOT TO THE DOOR FIRST!"

"NO KAYLEIGH, YOU HAD THE FRONT SEAT ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL!"

"LOGAN MOVE TO THE BACK SEAT CAUSE I CANT GET IN!'

Logan cries

On the way home from school everyone wants to talk to me at one time and nobody wants to take turns. It's a yelling match, I can't hear anyone, and someone is crying. Someone...is always crying.

We get home at 3:45 and I need to be at work at 4:30. We now have 45 minutes to eat, get 3-4 children and myself in karate uniforms, get homework together, checks written out, ballet stuff thrown into our gym bag. Someone is crying because during these 45 minutes I am barking a lot of orders. Someone usually needs some time in their room, a talking to and talking down from whatever situation that happened in school that day. Today, it was Kayleigh who was kept after school for 10 minutes (shrinking our time to get things done into 35 minutes instead of 45) over something she swears she turned into the teacher, but the teacher can't find it. In these 35 minutes, she was sent to her room for taking out her bad day on her brothers, had a talking to, ate dinner, and got dressed for ballet.

If anyone dares to tell me that staying at home is "easy", come forward and I will punch you in the face. Twice.

Sure, there are Moms at home who don't really "do" much. But I am NOT one of those people. I am one of those in your face, do all, be all, kind of parents. I run a very tight ship as active as we are. If you mess around, you have consequences. I do not tolerate disrespect of any kind. I threw my own child out of karate class today for disrespect. He won't come back again until I say so. You smart-mouth me, you are up shit's creek. And if you crap up my house after I've spent hours cleaning it, you are up that creek without a paddle. I'm giving you some cleaner and some paper towels. Have at it. Are you bored? Really? Here's a brush. Go scrub a toilet.

And if you complain about my dinner, guess who is cooking the next day?

That is how I roll.

I'm just plain exhausted.

But yes, I want a fifth child because I LIKE the madness. It means that I am doing good for this world. Because these children have a great set of parents. A lot of children these days aren't so lucky.

Populate the earth with smart, well-disciplined, intelligent, focused people to combat those who reproduce for the "gob'ment" funds.

Damn, I'm tired.